Choosing a Bridesmaid

Many people get excited about being asked to be a bridesmaid at a wedding. But there’s also probably a handful of women who don’t particularly relish being asked to be one. If you’re getting married and will soon be in the process of choosing a bridesmaid or several bridesmaids, you may want to think long and hard about the feelings of your potential bridesmaid before popping the question. We get blind-sided by not wanting to offend friends or family who don’t get asked, but there’s always the other side of the fence. Some women actually cringe when asked!
Take the case of Siri Agrell who said she had never fancied herself as bridesmaid material but a friend is a friend and so…”Still, I found the whole process bizarrely entertaining, even though I was occasionally overwhelmed by the expense, excess and drama of the bridal circus. I thought it was funny how much time, energy and $50-per-yard fabric could be employed in an event that would last a maximum of eight hours… When I started researching the bridesmaid institution, its origins and obligations, I was equally stunned by the advice given by wedding planners, etiquette experts and seasoned attendants. Almost all of them acknowledged that being a bridesmaid is sometimes not a whole lot of fun, but the only response, they warned, is to shut up and take it.”
We’re not going to scare you away by talking about friends who secretly dislike being asked, but this is fair warning for future brides: consider the feelings of others.
Let’s get down to the nitty gritty of bridesmaid selection:
Choosing a Bridesmaid - It’s All About the Women You Care About
Great! The site has been sighted, the church has been reserved (or the beach), the pastor “pasteured” and the dress hand-picked with your very own “specs.” You might be surprised, however, that perhaps one of the decisions that could kickstart a warren of emotions is choosing your bridesmaid.
Choosing your bridesmaids means more than just who you’ve known the longest or liked the best – it can be a decision that is rife with family politics, practicalities, and other issues. You’re suddenly feeling that choosing a bridesmaid is like treading into the murky waters of quick sand.
The thing to remember is that choosing a bridesmaid should be about the women that you want to share your special day with. Narrowing down your choices to include your favorite friends and relatives you’re very fond of can jingle and jangle the nerves – not only yours but theirs as well. Since drawing names out of a hat is only child’s play and therefore not an option, you have to seriously consider how you will select your bridesmaids.
First, decide how grand you want your wedding party to be. If you are trying to limit the number of guests, then choose conservatively. In one wedding we attended, the groom had three men that he wanted on his side of the line, no more and no less. If your groom has already chosen his men, then try to match his number. If you seriously feel that you NEED one or two more people, or if you can’t come up with enough ladies who will stand with you, have a serious talk with your groom and resolve the problem without the involvement of anyone else.
Once you have your number set, then draw up a list of the women you are thinking of. When you are drawing up this list, put a star beside those names that constitute your first choices and those who are actually expecting to be asked. This includes family members who you don’t want to include, but who are nevertheless expecting an invite.
Once this list is complete, it might be a good idea to come up with a short list containing “on reserve” names in case your invitation is declined. If you have lost contact for years with a friend or two, they will understand if they receive an invitation only the wedding but not to stand at the altar with you – regardless of a pact you made with them when you were 12 years old. You’ll experience feelings of doubt when you have to cross off female family members such as cousins so arbitrarily. Call each one of them if they expect to be included, and explain that while you’d be happy to share your day with them, you simply don’t have enough room up front to include everyone. That should quell most hurt feelings if you’re honest and candid about it.
Sisters are hard to say no to as well, and for the sake of family unity, you might just want to bite the bullet and include them if they wish to participate. The same does not necessarily go for the future sisters-in-law but do consider them at least. They just might be the people you could count on when you have some marital conflicts to smooth over. Your husband’s sisters would know which would calm him down, having shared their childhood with him.

Bridesmaids: Responsibility is Key!
Your best friends are on top of your list but when you do make THE final decision, one factor to think of is, “just how responsible each of these ladies are?” Your bridesmaids are not limited to framing you and the groom and adding beauty and glamour to the ceremony, they too have responsibilities on and before the wedding day.
Naturally, the bulk of the responsibilities falls on the shoulders of the bridesmaid:
Planning any pre-wedding parties and the shower,
Coordinating the numerous details like cake, gifts, favors, speeches, sending messages and thank you notes, establishing the bridal register and any other duties the bride may need assistance with.
During the ceremony, the bridesmaid will have to hand out tips to the caterers and cue the DJ or Band for the first dance.
Bridesmaids have to be reliable 100% so tick off the “flaky” ones who are likely to commit a faux pas and cause an embarrassment. You can assign these ladies less important roles such as reading a passage or making a toast. If she tends to struggle with words, you may want to clip out a piece of poetry for her to read or pick out a toast or speech sample from the Web.
Choosing a Bridesmaid - Did Anyone Think She May Not Afford it?
Money is a taboo subject, but if you sort of suspect that your favorite friend may be having financial troubles, you can spare her the embarrassment of an explanation of why she won’t be able to take on the role. For example, if she lives in another ccountry or city, the plane fare might be a hindrance, or buying a wedding dress would seem like an extravagance when she has kids to support. One piece of wisdom is to let bridesmaid nominees know ahead of time so that they can make plans to attend or politely decline. DO NOT be offended if some of your top choices cannot participate. They have their own lives to deal with, and it is not a reflection of how much they like you.
When the bridesmaid or bridesmaids have been chosen, do think about the pregnant bridesmaid as well. While pregnancy is exciting and wonderful, it is a challenge to outfit a pregnant woman when her waistline will fluctuate weekly. This does not mean that you should exclude friends who are trying to get pregnant, but be aware of the risks and headaches that this might cause. Anyone who is expecting to deliver within a timeframe of 30-45 days before your wedding date should consider stepping down; otherwise she’d need to step out in great rush during the ceremony. You want to hear wedding bells ringing, not ambulance sirens wailing!

Invitations Etiquette

Wedding Etiquette
Today's wedding etiquette feature is all about the invitation.
For so many couples, the wedding invitations (and everything associated with the invitations) prove to be the most problematic part of the wedding planning process. Perhaps both sets of parents have remarried or the Bride and Groom have decided to host the wedding on their own. In this day and age, there is no standard definition of a wedding. So, to help you in your woes…here are some invitation etiquette rules made easy:
A traditional wedding invitation should be worded as follows:
Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Father’s First Name / Last Namerequest the honour of your presenceat the marriage of their daughter
Bride First / Middle NameTo Mr. Groom First / Middle / Last Name
Day and Month of the wedding spelled outyear spelled outat time spelled out
Location of the CeremonyCity, State

Or rather…

Mr. and Mrs. William McLucasRequest the pleasure of your companyAt the wedding of
Abigail Dee ToTait Elliott Larson
Saturday, the twenty-seventh of AugustTwo thousand and sevenAt half after five o’clock
Old South ChurchBoston, Massachusetts

It’s good to use this as your template, then customize with your own unique details. For most couples, however, it simply isn’t this straight forward. Here are some ways to tackle the more unique situations:
Bride and Groom are Hosting the Wedding

Ms. Bride First Name / Last Nameand Mr. Groom First Name / Last Name
request the honour of your presenceas they celebrate their marriage
Day and Month of the wedding spelled outyear spelled outat time spelled out
Location of the CeremonyCity, State

Both Sets of Parents are Hosting the Wedding

Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Father’s First Nam / Father’s Last NameandMr. and Mrs. Groom’s Father’s First Name / Last Name
request the honour of your presenceat the marriage of
Bride First / Middle / LastandGroom First / Middle / Last
{etc}

Parents/Parent has Divorced or Remarried

Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Mother {New Husband’s} First Name / Last Name andMr. and Mrs. {New Wife} Groom’s Father First Name / Last Namerequest the honour of your presenceat the marriage of their daughterBride First / Middle / Last
{etc}

Small Wedding then Large Reception
…to the ceremony and reception

Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Father’s First Name / Last Namerequest the honour of your presenceat the marriage of their daughterDaughter first name / middle nametoMr. Groom First name / Last name
Day, Month spelled outYear spelled outat time spelled out
Location of Ceremonyand afterward at the receptionLocation of Reception

…to the reception only

Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Father’s First Name / Last Namerequest the pleasure of your companyat the wedding reception for their daughter
Daughter’s First Name / Middle NameandMr. Groom’s First Name / Last Name
Day, Month spelled outyear spelled outat time spelled outLocationCity, State

When a Parent or Parents Have Passed
(It should be sent only from the living parent…)

Mr. (Mrs.) Father/Mother’s First Name / Last Namerequests the honour of your presenceat the marriage of his/her daughter
Bride First Name / Middle NameToMr. Groom’s First Name / Middle / Last
{etc}

When the Groom’s family hosts the wedding

Mr. and Mrs. Groom’s Father’s First Name / Last Namerequest the hour of your presenceat the marriage of
Miss Bride’s First Name / Middle / LastTo their sonGroom’s first Name / Middle Name / Last
{etc}

Although these are many of the more common circumstances, they of course, barely crack the surface. There are so many ways to phrase a wedding invitation, depending on your own familial situation. What IS important is that you convey the tone of the wedding thru the invitation. Sometimes, proper etiquette isn’t the only element to consider.
For those of you that are more whimsical, and less inclined to follow tradition, here are some fun, quirky ways to phrase a wedding invitation…
Traditional…but Cheeky

Mr. and Mrs. Eric P. Brownrequest the honour of your presenceas their daughterEmily Ceciliabids single life adieu and makes an honest man out ofMr. Tad Everett JenningsSaturday, the fourth of Maytwo thousand and sixat half after five o’clockSt. Mary’s ChurchSmithville, NY

Traditional…but Cute

Mr. and Mrs. Eric P. Browntogether with Doctor and Mrs. Charles E. Jenningswould be honoured by your presenceas their childrenEmily Cecilia and Tad Everett Jenningspromise to love, honour and respectfully disagree with each other {about the quickest way to get to 89th and 5th}Saturday, the fourth of Maytwo thousand and sixat half after five o’clockSt. Mary’s ChurchSmithville, NY
{customize to suit your personalities}

Traditional…With Personality

Mr. and Mrs. Eric P. Browntogether with Doctor and Mrs. Charles E. Jenningsrequest the honour of your presenceas their childrenEmily Cecilia and Tad Everett Jenningstie the knot, take the plunge, and otherwise “seal the deal”Saturday, the fourth of Maytwo thousand and sixat half after five o’clockSt. Mary’s ChurchSmithville, NY

Casual and Sweet

Elissa and Eric Brownand Charles and Meredith Jenningswould be honouredto share with you the moment at which the lives of their childrenEmily CeciliaandTadwill be forever—and most beautifully—changedThis celebration of love, new beginnings and {first date} that brought them togetherwill be held onSaturday, the fourth of Maytwo thousand and sixat half after five o’clockSt. Mary’s ChurchSmithville, NY
{personalize to suit your own moment}

Casual and Personal

The only thing that could make us happier thanthe marriage of our {pragmatic} daughterEmily Cecilia to the {adventurous} Mr. Tad Everett Jennings is if you’d share in the occasion with usThe couple will wed on Saturday, the fourth of Maytwo thousand and sixat half after five o’clockSt. Mary’s Church12 Winding WaySmithville, NYAfter witnessing their vowswe invite you to join us for libations and merrymaking
{customize to suit your personalities

Top Wedding Trends 2008

Top Wedding Trends for 2008
What's hot now? This year, bigger is definitely better, from luxe place settings to statement-making gowns and hairstyles.

Is chocolate brown still the new black? Are brides really planning to wear two dresses? These are some of the many burning questions this year's brides and grooms are asking.

Trend 1: Making Split DecisionsCan't decide between a princess ball gown and a sexy mini? Wear both! In 2008, brides will make their guests do a double take by switching up their looks between the ceremony and reception with their gowns and hairstyles -- like an elegant updo for when you recite your vows and switching to natural cascading curls to party. And it's not just the bride that's getting a makeover between acts. Couples are also changing up their palettes with a progression of color throughout the day. Guests arrive to a clean, all-white ceremony, experience a hint of pale hues during the cocktail hour, and then step into an explosion of rich color for the reception.

Trend 2: The Gray AreaSteel gray will replace chocolate brown as the accent color. We absolutely love this soft yet deep hue teamed with butter yellow, bright aqua, rich eggplant, or pale pink. It's so versatile! Introduce the color in your stationery, either in the typeface or paper, and then gradually build it into your reception space by way of slate gray table accents and pewter-toned bridesmaid dresses with a contrasting sash.

Trend 3: A Return to WhiteIn recent years, white has taken a backseat to bold hues like hot pink, orange, and purple. The classic color (or lack thereof) is poised to make a huge comeback in a fresh, modern way. Think tall, glistening glass vases overflowing with crisp arrangements of white phalaenopsis orchids and clouds of soft baby's breath. Also, picture sparkling white cakes covered from top to bottom in miniature fondant blossoms. Palette partner: Rose-colored metallics will add a big dose of sophisticated glamour.

Trend 4: Lush and LuxeSize does matter. Event designers and brides alike are teaming up to create showstopping floral arrangements, such as those seen during the days of Marie Antoinette. This move toward French opulence means more petals, blossoms, candles -- even feathers! -- as centerpieces go from simple and low to towering and lush. Gilded place settings, brocade linens, and hand-painted invitations complete the elaborate look.

Trend 5: Sample StationsSelf-proclaimed foodies will love this trend: tasting bars for every whim. Sure to be popular, wine and cheese stations are not only delicious, they can be educational as well. We know one couple who hired a professional sommelier to provide pairing pointers. Our favorite is the champagne bar. Just pick your favorite bottles of bubbly and don't forget the mixers, such as Chambord, Midori, cranberry juice, and pineapple juice. Guests will have so much fun making their own signature cocktails.

Trend 6: Vintage VisionsFrom dresses to rings, brides are revisiting the past for style inspiration. For wedding gowns, that means delicate fabrics like chiffon and tiers of tulle, along with bygone embellishments such as beaded straps, keyhole halters, and lace sleeves. For rings, the hot style for '08 is something vintage. Whether it's simply an antique-style band or a real antique (think your great-grandmother's diamond), what's old is definitely new again.

Trend 7: Guests Make the CallNeed help picking that first dance song? Have your guests vote on it. With wedding websites adding more features like blogs, polls, and quizzes, it's easier than ever to involve your loved ones in the planning and decision making. Blogs are also great for reaching out to your bridesmaids and getting feedback on dress colors, flower options, and decor ideas. We love the idea of setting up wedding polls on your website and asking your guests to vote for their favorite cake flavor, entree choices, or dance music.

More Hot Trends Green Weddings: Couples continue to be earth-conscious in 2008, from buying conflict-free diamond rings and recycled gold wedding bands to serving locally grown, free-range fare and donning bio-friendly wedding dresses made of 100 percent silk and cottons. They're also honeymooning at eco-resorts and gathering friends for charitable showers at soup kitchens and local park events.

Plan a chic green weddingHoneymoon Hopping: By now, it's no secret: Brides and grooms are going big this year for their weddings, and that includes the honeymoon too. Newlyweds are jetting off to not one, but two or three different destinations to celebrate their union. And they're traveling further than ever before. The hot spots: South Pacific jaunts to Tahiti and Bora Bora; Mediterranean getaways to Sicily and the Greek Isles; and African expeditions to Zambia, Botswana, and Johannesburg.

Getting Married In Cayman

Cayman Islands Marriage Requirements
The information below outlines the marriage requirements for getting married in Cayman Islands


Getting married in Cayman is easy:
There is no waiting period to get married in the Cayman Islands.
Couples must arrange for a marriage officer and a Non-Resident Marriage Licence.
Arrangements with the Marriage Officer should be made prior to filing the application for the marriage Licence. Marriage licenses can be obtained on the same day as application. - You must produce a Cayman Islands International Immigration Department Visitors Card showing proof of entry. Cruise passengers may present their ship boarding passes to demonstrate they are legally in port. - Valid passports or original or certified copies of birth certificates along with photo identification. Photocopies are not accepted. - The minimum legal age to marry without parental consent is 18. - Original divorce or death certificates are required. Photocopies are not accepted. - Two witnesses must be present at the ceremony. -

We will Contact that necessary government officials for all required legal documents.

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